As lawyers, we know that effective communication is essential for a successful practice, underpinning every aspect of what we do, from client counseling to courtroom advocacy. Whether negotiating a settlement, examining a witness, or advising a client on complex legal issues, lawyers must convey ideas clearly and persuasively while also listening attentively. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, strained relationships, and even unfavorable case outcomes. 

In The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More,  attorney Jefferson Fisher offers practical strategies to transform everyday interactions, whether personal or professional, by emphasizing the power of intentional and thoughtful communication. Fisher suggests that there are three elements to all effective communications: 1) Control: maintaining composure and emotional regulation during conversations; 2) Confidence: communicating assertively and with self-assurance; and 3) Connection: fostering genuine understanding and rapport with others. He provides readers with actionable insights into reducing conflict and fostering meaningful dialogue, all while maintaining composure and clarity. Fisher’s approach encourages readers to shift from reactive to reflective communication, making each conversation more productive and less contentious.

One of Fisher’s recommendations struck me as particularly useful. Fisher believes that your first word in a conversation should not be a word at all. He suggests, “Let your breath be the first word.” This simple yet profound practice involves taking a deliberate breath before responding in any conversation. By doing this, individuals can anchor themselves, ensuring responses are thoughtful rather than reactive. 

For lawyers, this technique offers significant benefits across various facets of their practice:

1. Working with Witnesses: Witnesses often experience anxiety and uncertainty. Encouraging them to take a breath before answering can reduce nervousness, leading to clearer testimonies. It can also provide a moment for the witness to recall facts accurately and prevent impulsive or emotionally charged responses. Lawyers can model this behavior for a witness during a deposition or trial testimony. If you notice that your witness has gone into fight or flight mode, make eye contact with the witness and visibly take a deep breath. This will remind them to pause and breathe.
2. Communicating with Clients: Client interactions can involve complex emotions and high stakes. Implementing the “breath first” approach allows lawyers to demonstrate active listening and empathy, process information thoroughly before advising, and maintain composure during emotionally charged discussions.
3. Engaging with Opposing Counsel: Negotiations and discussions with opposing counsel can be contentious. When we lose control of our emotions, we become less effective. Taking a breath before responding helps attorneys to calm their nervous system and consider strategic responses rather than reacting impulsively. Staying calm can also foster a collaborative rather than adversarial atmosphere.

Incorporating the “breath as the first word” technique into your daily practice promotes clarity, composure, and connection. By pausing momentarily, attorneys and witnesses can navigate complex interactions more effectively, benefiting all parties involved.

For lawyers who want to improve their communications and their practice, I highly recommend Fisher’s book. The “breath first” technique is just one of many helpful tools offered by Fisher in this book.