If anyone at Lawyers Mutual understands the toll that practicing law can take on a person, it’s Will Graebe.

Will came to Lawyers Mutual in 1998 as claims counsel and eventually rose to Vice President of the Claims Department, a role he held for a decade. In that time, he saw firsthand what happens when lawyers push too hard for too long – missed deadlines, costly mistakes, and careers derailed by burnout and mental health struggles. Then in 2019, Will did something that a lot of lawyers talk about but few actually do: he stepped away. For two years.

When he came back to Lawyers Mutual as claims counsel and relationship manager, he brought something new with him – a serious commitment to wellness in his work life that he hadn’t fully embraced before his sabbatical. These days, Will isn’t just focused on his own well-being. He’s passionate about helping the lawyers we serve think differently about how they take care of themselves.

We sat down with Will to talk about burnout, balance, and what lawyers, especially those in solo and small firm practice, can do right now to build a healthier relationship with their work.

LM: Was there a specific moment when you realized wellness needed to be a bigger part of your life as a lawyer?

WG: When I came back to work after my sabbatical, it occurred to me that wellness had become a big part of my personal life but I hadn’t incorporated it into my work life. That is when I started focusing not only on wellness for myself at work but also for other lawyers.

LM: How has your experience practicing law shaped your approach to wellness?

WG: My work as a claims attorney has given me a window into the unique challenges and stresses that lawyers face, and some measure of compassion and empathy. Practicing law is stressful. It is adversarial and deadline driven. I cannot change that. I try not to offer unrealistic wellness suggestions that ignore the realities of practicing law.  

LM: How did you get involved with yoga, and how does it fit into your life today?

WG: I did gymnastics when I was a kid, so yoga came naturally to me. I started practicing 25 years ago and got my yoga teacher certification during my sabbatical. Unfortunately, a rotator cuff surgery sidelined me for a year and my practice has been sporadic since then.

LM: Why do you think burnout, anxiety, and stress are so prevalent in the legal profession?

WG: Technology is the primary culprit. We are never off. With cell phones, smart watches, laptops, Zoom, Teams, texting, email, and scanned client files, we never really unplug. We are all just one ding, vibration or alert away from being needed. Our sympathetic nervous systems are chronically triggered. Over time, this wears us down and causes burnout, stress, anxiety, and depression.

LM: What are the biggest misconceptions lawyers have about wellness?

WG: The biggest misconception is that wellness is a sign of weakness. They believe that too much talk about well-being will make us soft. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the wellness content I see and deliver is designed to make us stronger and more resilient. Wellness can mean eating well, exercising, and getting good sleep. It can mean practicing mindfulness and mediation. Or it could be something as simple as setting healthy boundaries. For me, it’s a three-day fishing trip at the coast. But it is never about weakness.

LM: Are there warning signs you see repeatedly in attorneys who are heading toward burnout?

WG: The three general warning signs are: physical and mental exhaustion, cynicism, and loss of confidence in the ability to do the work. You might also see increased irritability, missed deadlines, mistakes, and isolation. When you see those signs in yourself or others, address the cause as early as possible. Often it’s excessive workload, but it can also be a lack of autonomy, recognition, or fairness — or a mismatch between the values of the employee and the employer. The only way to know is to have an honest conversation with the person who seems to be struggling.

LM: For someone skeptical of yoga or mindfulness, where should they start?

WG: With yoga, I recommend finding a community that offers beginner or gentle yoga classes. Don’t let a lack of flexibility or inexperience stop you from giving it a try. If you aren’t ready for a group class, you can always stream videos at home. For mindfulness, start with a good book – my favorites are Dan Siegel’s Mindfulness and the Brain and Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. Try a simple meditation practice for just five minutes a day and see where it goes.

LM: What are a few simple practices attorneys can incorporate into a busy workday?

WG: Take short breaks throughout your day and go outside for a walk when you can. In stressful moments, slow down and take some deep breaths, over time that becomes a habit. Also, block out time for uninterrupted deep work. Studies show we’re interrupted every three minutes, and it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to deep focus. As lawyers, we need that focus for complex work. So block the time and put your phone away.

LM: If a lawyer could only do one thing daily to improve their well-being, what would you recommend?

WG: That’s a tough one. It’s a toss-up between exercise and relational connection. If I had to pick one, it would be relational connection. The Harvard Adult Development Study found that deep relational connection is the number one predictor of happiness and longevity. Make time for the important people in your life.

LM: How can solo and small firm lawyers – who may feel isolated – build wellness into their practice?

WG: Find connection somewhere. Go to your local bar lunches and meetings. Join a practice group. Find a mentor or, better yet, serve as one.

LM: How can law firms better support attorney well-being in a meaningful way?

WG: Most wellness content focuses on making individual lawyers more resilient, which is good. But the conversation needs to shift toward placing some responsibility on law firms to make changes that reduce burnout, anxiety, and substance abuse. These problems are expensive – replacing a burned-out associate can cost one and a half to two times their salary. Often the fixes are simple. The best thing a law firm can do is ask lawyers and staff what would make it a better place to work. Firms won’t always be able to accommodate every request, but people will feel heard and valued, and that goes a long way toward commitment and productivity.

LM: Have you seen a connection between well-being and reducing malpractice risk?

WG: I’m not aware of studies that specifically show that connection, but anecdotally, that has been my experience. The most serious claims situations I’ve seen involved a lawyer who was struggling. That’s one of the reasons it’s so important to reach out early when you notice signs of burnout or mental health issues.

LM: What does your own wellness routine look like on a typical day?

WG: The first thing I do is hydrate! My nutritionist says this is the best thing I can do to start my day. I then grease the wheels in my brain with Wordle, Spelling Bee, and Connections. At work, I take regular breaks throughout my day. When I find myself in a particularly stressful situation, I use box breathing (4 second inhale, 4 second pause, 4 second exhale, 4 second pause, and repeat) to calm my mind. I also try to eat healthy every day. After work, my wife and I typically walk our 10,000 steps and have lively discussions about politics, spirituality, culture, technology, etc. In the past, I have been a night owl. I have recently started to go to bed earlier to get better sleep. Everything that I read says that sleep is key to good health.

LM: What do you struggle with most when it comes to maintaining balance?

WG: I’m a perfectionist, so it can be hard to know when to stop working on a project. That can sometimes get in the way of other responsibilities.

LM: What’s one wellness habit you learned the hard way?

WG: Know your limitations and know when to rest. I mentioned above that I had rotator cuff surgery several years ago. That happened because I painted every room in our new house over two weeks while working full-time. That was a lot of reaching and repetitive motion in a short period of time. I knew my shoulder was weakening but refused to stop and rest. I ended up with a complete tear and a year of recovery. I did a similar thing when I ran a marathon 15 years ago. My knee wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to give up on my goal. I completed the marathon but have never been able to recover from the stress on my knee and I have never returned to running.

LM: If you could give one piece of advice to every lawyer in North Carolina, what would it be?

WG: Never stop growing, learning, and creating. These are the things that give our lives purpose, meaning, joy and a reason to get up each morning.

LM: Where should attorneys go if they want to learn more or get started?

WG: Start by looking at your own life and deciding where you want to make improvements. If it’s physical, find an exercise you enjoy and try a group fitness class. If you’re struggling with mental health, reach out to the North Carolina Lawyers Assistance Program or a therapist. If you feel distracted, try guided meditation — there are thousands of great options online. If your diet needs work, find a nutritionist. That has made a big difference in my life. And if you just want to explore wellness ideas, check out our blog or a wellness CLE on our on-demand platform. Whatever you do, set realistic expectations and go easy on yourself when things don’t go as planned.